A quick quiz on very recent political events:
1. The Republicans dug deep this weekend and came up with:
A. An invisible cane to keep John McCain propped up at the podium for his RNC-headlining speech, so that wife Cindy doesn't have to stand by with a circus net.
B. A bipartisan commission to understand the effects Joe Lieberman's charisma-sucking presence on climate change.
C. A round of applause for Fred Thompson that he didn't have to beg for; or
D. None of the above.
If you answered A, sorry, you're wrong. While his wife probably won't be standing up there with him tonight, you can bet your sweet Lulu he'll probably be a little wobbly as he steadies himself with his little jam hands at the podium and squints to read those newfangled tele-prompters the kids are so fond of using.
Maybe you answered B. Oooo, sorry, wrong again. Lieberman's presence never changes ANYTHING, and the only way it could affect the climate is if someone decides to stand under that rain cloud that follows him around. Poor little Droopy...at least he can manage a smile sometimes.
In case you're unsure, Lieberman's the one up top. I know, I know, you're not used to him being there nowadays.
But, let's get back to our quiz...
If you're an Amurcun, you probably answered C. I mean, everybody knows that the best way to take tests is to answer C all the way down the line, right? Well, you know what, you get partial credit for this one. Sure, good Ol' Fred didn't OVERTLY ask for a round of applause like he had to here:
But he did KIND of beg for his pops with his biting (if phlegmy) attacks on Bah-Rock and the Democrats. Freddy's one of those guys like John Kerry and Al Gore: he's better when he's shilling for someone else than when he's trying to sell himself. Good luck becoming a president in real-life, Fred, and get those lungs checked, will you?
If you answered D, you get full credit! You are right! What a super student! So what did the Republicans come up with when they dug deep this past weekend?
That's right, kids, we've got a LADY in this race! Now, according to the GOP, your vote will be historic no matter WHICH way you decide to go! It's time for a change with a capital C in this country and the GOP is delivering! And, believe you me, Sarah Palin's got some stellar character references!
Wow! Who else wants Anne Kilkenny on his or her reference list for the next big job interview? Any takers?
It's funny, though, some of Ms. Kilkenny's observations about Mrs. Palin sound vaguely familiar. Inflated spending on money pit policies and projects, close (and I do mean CLOSE) ties to big oil, settling personal vendettas through political channels, appointing people without experience to important posts to guarantee loyalty...hmmmm...gosh, it all rings a bell with me.
But I just...wish I could place who...it...might...be....
If you figure it out, let me know.
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