Palin-Iran: Three Degrees of Separation

Hey Ryan,

Let's play a game.

Remember the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? You know, that's the one where you try to link an actor through movies to that iconic(?) star of Footloose. And you pat yourself on the back if you can do it in less jumps than your friend. You know the game.

Well, as it turns out, we can play that in political circles, too.

This weekend (and, I guess, for the next thirty days) John McCain and Sarah Palin are going dumpster diving to find the most salacious, mold-ridden, and widely discredited attacks they can muster against Obama. Why? Because, as a top McCain strategist told the New York Daily News:

"[Going negative is] a dangerous road, but we have no choice...If we keep talking about the economic crisis, we're going to lose."

So. let's be clear...they got no new ideas over there at McPalin Central. And why would that be a surprise? With Lt. Col. PTSD and Eva Empty-Head-Puppet-Skirt at the helm, it's no wonder the "Straight-Talk Express" is losing its wheels. BUT...

Even if the bus is in the ditch, we can still play Six Degrees, right? We should at least have some fun while our democratic process veers into TMZ-ville. So, let's start with Sarah Palin!

Okay...let's go from Sarah Palin to Iran (that's the country) in THREE DEGREES! Can you do it? I can.

So, Sarah Palin is married to "First Dumbass...I mean, Dude" Todd Palin. That's one.

Todd Palin was, from 1995-2002, a member of the Alaska Independence Party, a group whose goals are as follows (from their own website):

Goals

Until we as Alaskans receive our Ultimate Goal, the AIP will continue to strive to make Alaska a better place to live with less government interference in our everyday lives.

The Alaskan Independence Party's goal is the vote we were entitled to in 1958, one choice from among the following four alternatives:

1) Remain a Territory.
2) Become a separate and Independent Nation.
3) Accept Commonwealth status.
4) Become a State.

The call for this vote is in furtherance of the dream of the Alaskan Independence Party's founding father, Joe Vogler, which was for Alaskans to achieve independence under a minimal government, fully responsive to the people, promoting a peaceful and lawful means of resolving differences.

So, basically, an overarching goal is to secede from the United States of America. Your basic crackers-in-their-camouflage-headed-for-the-hills-kind of thing, complete with home schooling and privatization of public services (sound familiar?).

Easy enough. That's two degrees from Palin, so far. Sarah to Todd, Todd to the AIP.

And what's the third? If you look back at the above quote from the AIP website, you'll see the name Joe Vogler, the "founding father" of the party.

Vogler was radical guy who founded the AIP in the early 1970s and became its chairman in 1986 after the party gained full recognition from the state in 1984. He had the chair until his disappearance/death in 1993. As a side note, Vogler died during an explosives-sale-gone-bad. Now, that doesn't sound remotely like a domestic terrorist, does it?

Anyhow, at the time of his death, Vogler was scheduled to speak at the United Nations (even though he hated that institution) about the issue of Alaskan independence. Of course, he needed a sponsor in order to give such a speech at the UN. And who do you think that sponsor would've been?

Iran. You betcha! And that's three!

But, you know what? I bet we don't even have to go three whole degrees to link Sarah Palin to Iran, because, while she might not have been an official member of the AIP, she did address its conventions on, at least, two occasions.

According to current AIP Chairperson Lynette Clark:

"I've admired Sarah from the first time I met her at the 2006 (AIP) convention," which Palin also addressed, says Clark. "She impressed me so much. She's Alaskan to the bone; she's a damn good gal.

"As I was listening to her, I thought she sounds like what we've been saying for years. I thought to myself, 'My God, she sounds just like Joe Vogler.'"

Hmmm...what a nice compliment to say Palin sounds just like a man who once said, "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions." Oh, and bonus...Vogler is buried in Dawson City, Yukon Territory, Canada, because he hated the United States so much that he didn't even want his grave under its flag.

But you're probably asking when was the other time Sarah Palin addressed an AIP convention. That would be in early 2008. Here's her recorded statement for the event:



But wait! There's more. You see, earlier this year, right after Palin's VP nomination, the aforementioned AIP Chairperson Lynette Clark released a statement touting both Todd's and Sarah's memberships in the party. She quickly recanted this statement as the McCain campaign released a statement of its own denying Sarah's former membership.

But, hey, let's give Lynette a break, she's not the first person in the AIP to make this mistake. At the 2nd Secessionist Convention in Chattanooga, Tennessee, last year, AIP Vice-Chairperson Dexter Clark also said that Sarah Palin had been a member of the party, joking:

"Our current governor, we mentioned at the last conference, the one we were hoping would get elected, Sarah Palin, did get elected. There's a joke, she's a pretty good looking gal, there's a joke goes around we're the coldest state with the hottest governor. And there was a lot of talk about her moving up. She was an AIP member before she got the job as a mayor of a small town -- that was a non-partisan job. But you get along to go along -- she eventually joined the Republican Party, where she had all kinds of problems with their ethics, and well, I won't go into that. She also had about an 80% approval rating, and is pretty well sympathetic to her former membership."

That quote is about six minutes in on the video below. And, if you listen from the six-minute mark through to the end, you'll hear Mr. Clark talk about using candidates like Palin to "infiltrate" mainstream political parties.



Gosh, I sure do love the Six (or Three or Two) Degrees of Sarah Palin game. (Wink, wink, thumbs up!) You see, we can play the guilt-by-association game if McCain's team wants to, but it might not be such a good idea for them.

Let me ask you this: How flimsy does Obama's acquaintance with Bill Ayers look to you now?

Charles