Putting the "Fraud" In Voter Fraud

Hey Ryan,

By now, you've probably heard all about the big bad bogeyman Voter Fraud! Every time I write those two words, a chill runs down my spine and I hear a wolf howl. I'm glad the Repubs brought this up, this year.

I was afraid that since they didn't have a color-coded-Jerry-Lewis-style-threat-level board to work from in this election, that they were going to have to fly commando. If it's good enough for John McCain...right?

Thankfully, though, Voter Fraud has reared its ugly, Tip O'Neill-shaped head for the upstanding, uninformed GOP voters to play whack-a-mole with. Man, good for them...



To me, it's really unfortunate that ACORN even has to get into voter registration. But, you know how the Repubs view educating voters they don't agree with:



So, groups like ACORN have to act. Otherwise, low- and moderate-income voters would never have a voice in the election process or on economic and social issues that are important to them. For all of the rhetoric bastardizing the "freedom and justice for all" line, the GOP is pretty transparent in its disdain for, generally, the poor and, specifically, minorities.

But, this disdain can't be uttered freely anymore. These poor, beleaguered GOP'ers, their hands are tied behind their backs! I mean, how can you get out a properly racist and classist message to your base without using the direct vocabulary...the "Straight Talk", if you will.

The answer is simple: Cry FRAUD! Let your base know that their underlying uneasiness about voting for a half-black man has somewhere to go. Sure, you can spread the whispers that he's a Muslim, a pal to terrorists, a baby-killer, a socialist, the antichrist or even a low-scoring point guard (unlike your goddess of choice Sarracuda). But why stop with the man, himself? Why not also hit his base and spread the suspicion around?

In its evil, Turd Blossom sort of way, the plot is genius: You can espouse a suppressive, Nazi-esque agenda, while still appearing to be fighting for truth, justice and the American way. Put the cape of freedom on over your Klan outfit. Even dictatorships have elections, right?

Charles

P.S. Just to be clear...